Give Away

 

My sister Grace and I were honored to be asked to stand in our friend's wedding! Here in Uganda, getting married has two components. The first is a cultural marriage, which deals with dowry and "giving away" the girl to her new husband. The second step, which few people here accomplish because of the cost, is a church wedding. Although this second celebration has American components, such as a white wedding dress, there's much African influence.

I'm beyond proud of Agumo Lois, my friend, for being the first youth in our church denomination since 2003 to do marriage right. Because of the cost of celebrations and dowry, youth in our area have begun getting pregnant then living together as if they were married. Sadly, this often leads to the girl eventually returning home with a few children- now without a father in their life- in tow. Shirking correct marriage can even prove dangerous. Years ago, the girlfriend/"wife" of one of the men in our village was hit and killed by a vehicle. Her unborn baby also died. The girl's clan threatened to come to our village and burn everyone's houses down because no dowry had been paid. I remember the tense night when many neighbors brought their processions to our house, believing the girl's clan wouldn't burn our property. Thankfully, the threat was not carried out; nevertheless, the tension is remembered and the deceased woman's first born daughter now lives with an elderly woman in our village because her father is remarried.

All this to say, my prayer for Lois is that she and her future family reaps the blessing of following God's will for marriage.

Now, here's a glimpse of Lois' cultural marriage/give away!

Getting ready. Because Grace and I have hair that's so different from our friends' here, we do our hair and makeup at home before going to the party site.

We arrived to a bit of organized chaos. All the ladies in charge were focused on the bride, so no one was telling the bridal party what to do. And no one seemed to know what I was supposed to wear :)

Grace and I visited the ladies getting their hair done while we waited to get dressed. The ladies who were making everyone's up-dos were super talented!

Tugging, tugging, tugging to get their tight curls straight.

The make-shift hair salon

Finally starting to get ready! This is how one is wrapped in a local wrapper before putting on a traditional gomesi (photos bellow). The goal is to give the gomesi more volume.

Some little ones thought the dresses and belts looked like fun!

Sparkle décor!

As I said, the bride was prepped first. She was then sent to a inner room of the house to wait until she was to appear in front of the guests. Poor Agumo, it was beyond hot in this room! She just smiled excitedly, not complaining. I admire this sweet girl's inner beauty. She's content, joyful, peaceful, kind, observant and participates in various church activities. 

Grace waiting to be wrapped up in her stunning red gomesi. As you can see, the room was far from empty!

I do have to say, I was thrilled with the belt I was given!

The group of girls in traditional Teso wrappers (the group I was part of).

Waiting. We began getting ready around 2 p.m., but didn't make an appearance until 5 p.m.!

The gomesi group. Y'all look great!

Being instructed what to do when making an appearance in front of the audience.

Taking pictures to make the time pass. I'm thankful for Grace's sassy humor that gives me a reason to let loose and laugh!

Makai did great, despite the hours of waiting! He thought my beads looked better on him, though, and ended up stealing them from me :)

Thankful for this sister, as well! She hung out with us the entire time we waited, being helpful and keeping us chatting. Emalai understands and lives out the culture here more than anyone in our family. She teaches me how to appreciate or accept cultural aspects I don't think of embracing.

We were served a 4 p.m. lunch. The matron (a fellow missionary) received the hind end of a chicken for her meal :)

More waiting, so why not more pictures? I've had a lot of friends tell me our family takes so many pictures that we're professional posers :)

Luka's excitement about his sisters being in a wedding. He was more interested in playing cards with friends. Who can blame him? Boys must be boys.

How fun to participate with old and new friends!

After lining up at 4:30 p.m., then having to abruptly return to the "waiting house" because the generator broke, it was finally our turn to dance out in front of the crowd! Slowly forward, dance backwards, shake forwards again. Something about this is so fun to me!

In Uganda, it's one hundred percent appropriate for people to crowd the stage to take photos. It's not uncommon to have phones and cameras surrounding the stage so thickly that the crowd can't see half of what's going on.

On center stage. The MC introduced us all as various "Agumo Lois"s. I was the Lois of China, who owned all of the factories. There was also a "Lois" from Tanzania who ships oil, one from Singapore who sells flowers, and even a "Lois" of the potatoes and biscuits! Personally, the funniest part was listening to the two MC's debate whether my blood is red like theirs or white. "Let's get a razor blade and find out!" the one MC joked. Thankfully, no blood was drawn.

The second group getting ready to march out.

Like with my group, the groom looked among this group to see if his wife was present.

Waiting for the groom to make his decision. He found his wife (far left)! Then he raced out off the "stage" to gather his entourage and escort the bride to the love seat.

Good job, girls!

After the bride presents her new husband to her parents and he presents his bride to his parents, there's gifts. Aside from money, the couple received a water pot (pictured above), mattress, chickens, a goat, jerrycan and basin.

Parking lots look a little different at marriages here...

Makai and his friends entertaining themselves with a tire.

Grace and I had dust-caked feet and green wrists (from sweating under our bracelets) when the celebration was done, but we had fun and were excited for the wedding.