Reflecting

January 03, 2023

As this year comes to a close, I wanted to share a mini photo gallery of my experience over the last twelve months. I will share thoughts about some photos but leave others to speak (or remain silent) for themselves. Why? Because every year is a mix of sorrow, joy, wins, losses, breathtaking moments and deep pits. I want to respect holding space for all experiences, emotions and situations by having a paradox of my own in this post.

January

Lights blurred by a foggy window greeted me with the eve of last year. They mimicked my reality of not knowing where the year would take me. Aside from spending time with my dear family, I had no plans set. I wondered over the options: school, travel, returning to Uganda, staying in MI. The open-endedness simultaneously terrified and comforted me. As I enter 2023, I find myself with the same blurry view. Possibilities take fuzzy shapes. I know not which ones, if any, I will reach. As I learned last year, rather than attempting to make things take sharp, planned focus, I rest in prayer and staying present.

And with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.

From Ephesians 6

The load may feel heavy now. You may need to carry it for some time. But know just as snow melts, your load will not remain the same forever. You will learn endurance. You will grow. You will find needed vigor in the spring. Yes, there will be winter loads again. But you will survive!

February

I encourage you, as one guilty and victim of this myself: avoid seeing people in black and white stereo types. Every human is an entire book, not simply the cover. Acknowledge when you don't know the whole story, give grace, and be open to meeting people different than you!

Masks are cool, but not in real life. Be real with yourself and others concerning how you're doing. I promise, sharing honestly with a trusted individual brings relief!

Those stairs

So high

Crane my neck

Cannot see

The top

Too far

Might I drop

if I try

I cannot

climb.

No, friend,

you can

one step

at a time.

March

Simple beauties exist all around. Find one simple color, sound, texture or experience to give thanks for each day.

No shame in feeling fear, my dear

We all face it one time or another.

But don't hide forever, dear

You're made to grow beyond

This tiny window hole

Dance in this world of color

Living in celebration of each dawn

Craving adventure, not control.

Get curious!

April

You are allowed to hold both your struggles and your victories. There's room in your life for both.

"This is not goodbye, it's just I love you to take with you until we're home again" -Sidewalk Prophets

I love this line. Through many goodbyes this year to dear friends, not knowing the next time I would see them, I needed a comfort to which I could cling. I choose to remember that, though I experience pain, I have memories to hold onto and wonderful individuals I can hope to see again. I chose to love despite the pain of goodbyes.

May

Growth may looks crazy.... and it's still growth. <3

Growth may mean facing old beliefs, habits and grief.... and it's worth it. 💗

Others may tell you growth is impossible in your dreary circumstance.... but they're wrong. You become the strongest during the harshest conditions. 💕

Sometimes one must get wet to grow.... thank God for each drop that is doing something inside of you.

June

"Hold her tonight, O God, would you hold her tonight? 'Cause I'm not there to stay close, keep watch, tell her she's not alone. Hold her tonight!" -For King and Country