Achia
I don't know where to begin; words escape me.
My aunt, who truly felt and seemed like a sister, passed away April 17.
Before reading on, I advise you read Achia's life story (in her obituary) and the updates from her hospitalization (on my mom's blog) to have a context for what I write here.
She breathed her last in the hospital, surrounded by her parents and most of her siblings, after a three week battle in the PICU and hospice care. Her stomach had been left open after two surgeries which removed a majority of her small intestine, she had not been able to eat or drink anything and the sweet girl we knew slowly faded in exhaustion.
However: "outwardly we are fading away, but inwardly we are renewed day by day. For our light and momentary struggle is achieving for us a glory that far outweighs it all."
Achia traded thirst for streams of the River of Life. Hunger for the banquet table of the Lamb. Blindness for eyes which saw for the first time, her gaze immediately set on her Maker. Limited limbs for dancing in glory. Inability to speak for a voice to sing the praises of Heaven. A broken body for complete wholeness. A hospice bed for rest in the Father's arms.
I celebrate for Achia. For the beautiful white robe given to her; I image she's jumping and twirling in a way that fans those skirts out wide.
And I miss Achia terribly. She couldn't "do much," but her presence filled the room and captured people's hearts.
Achia, I learned a thousand truths from you.
You existed in love and loving. You could not prove your worth or accomplish with efficiency. You simply were- and that was more than enough. You received the love given you without question. You showed me how I strive to earn lavish love before receiving it. You trusted the people who loved you. By watching Grandpa and grandma, I saw the joy of a parent to lavish their child with affection. The Lord declares that He poured out His love on us through grace "in all wisdom and understanding." Achia, you received the love of God through His people better than anyone else I know. I am praying God humbles my heart to receive His affection like you did.
You cared nothing for the world's standards of value. Instead, you showed beauty in the way you snuggled against your parents or tilted your head towards the sun. You debunked the demand for efficiency with your slow moment-by-moment pace of life. You replaced a list of accomplishments with contentedness in the day you were given. You knew no failure as you simply played, napped, giggled, blinked, or ate. You embraced the gift of life in an unparalleled intensity.
Thank you for being blind to all lies of beauty, value and acceptability as the enemy has enticed the world to believe; Achia, you may have never seen physically on this earth, but your eyes were open. They were open to the sacredness of life.
Thank you also for allowing your Maker to hold you. You taught me absolute dependence on Him. I keep saying, you're one of Jesus' personal favorites. He miraculously spared you from the attack of death and evil... time and time again. Only in a room exploded of love it could not contain did He allow you to finally come Home.
Thank you for teaching me that none of us can prove ourselves to the Lord or add to His care and protection. The trust is an utterly dependent trust on complete, lavish Father Love.
Achia, I already miss your toy spinning on the table, forcing us to talk a bit louder- or pause to listen and smile at you. I miss hearing you hop upstairs in the morning while I read my Bible on the story below. I miss the way you'd follow me into the kitchen when I made breakfast, silently asking in your own way for a second breakfast yourself. I miss Grandpa saying exasperatedly, "Achia!" after you kicked off your shoes for the third time on the way out the door. I miss having you in church, bouncing in sheer joy at the sound of worship to Jesus.
It feels unreal that you're not here with us.
Saying goodbye to you broke my heart in pieces.
And your leaving to Jesus' arms grows my excitement for His return. Or the day He'll summon me Home as well. I absolutely cannot wait to embrace you there.
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